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November 7, 2008
Butch v. Tommy - Week 11
Tommy's caterer and DJ for his celebration party are still on call but the limo driver had to shut off the car as Butch, drenched in nog from head to toe from repeatedly diving into the vat 'o nog and hoping that the nog seeped into his skin through his pores, lopped yet another game off his once-insurmountable lead and now Tommy is only left with half the manhood he had last month. With a four-game lead and four weeks left to play, Tommy is still in pretty good shape but he has not exactly been lighting it up in the last two weeks and Butch has been on fire in the same time span - to the tune of four games of a once-formidable eight-game lead in two weeks. Last week's key game was the California-Oregon affair where Butch and Tommy butted heads on who would be the winner of that game. Tommy mistakenly put too much stock in the Nikes easy win over the reeling Sun Devilinas the week before and Butch correctly noted that the Fighting Tedfords were better than the Nikes anyway, regardless of the false sense of security the Nikes had from the Sun Devilina victory. Butch and Tommy agreed on all the rest of the games and now we will see how Tommy feels about nog this week.
Tommy: And down the stretch they come! Butch has shaved some of the Skirted One's lead, but Tommy ain't worried...yet. As long as Butchie is still tempted to pick WSU to cover, Tommy will be just fine. Another big week starts with another big game.
Butch: Your security "blanky" is gone now, Tommy - the bye week and nog have opened Butch's eyeballs without the help of toothpicks to keep 'em propped open during the actual games themselves. No worries, mate, no worries.
Stanford at Oregon (-13)
Tommy: It's very simple. When you run a spread option offense that can't pass, you want teams to blitz so that you can get good match-ups. The Trees blitz like mad, and that's the reason they gave up a double nickel to Los Duckies last year. Get ready for another beatdown. SchNikes-42, No Offense, But You Guys Have No Offense-13.
Butch: On the other hand, Tommy, the Trees also scored 31 points against the Nikes last year - their highest offensive output of the season in a conference game [two sides to every coin, Tommy]. But that is ancient history. The Trees are on the road where they do not have the same beetle-resistant bark that they have at the Farm and Bellotti is 5-0 SU/ATS against them in the last five years - even Butch knows better than to go against that kind of number. Butch takes the Nikes to win and cover.
Arizona (-40) at Wazzu
Tommy: See winless Hussy game below. Bowl Eligible-56, Toilet Bowl Eligible-6.
Butch: No more "blanky" for you, Tommy, Stoops is 3-0 ATS against the Cougars. Butch takes the Wildcats to win and cover.
Oregon State (-7.5) at UCLA
Tommy: Tommy's laughing. You know why? The Bruins are going to beat the Beavers. The only team that OSU has beaten on the road is Washington. Mike Riley is 0-9 against UCLA as a head coach. UCLA has been competitive, so Tommy will not be shocked when Joe Montana...*cough*...Kevin Craft leads his third last-second comeback of the season, and the Beavs implode in a barrage of turnovers in Pasadena once again. Gutties-20, So Much For The Pac-10 Title-17.
Butch: Last time the Bruins had a bye week before a game, it [BYU], uh, did not [BYU] work out so well [BYU]. But this time will be different because, for some reason which scientists have yet to pin down, Riley is 0-3 SU/ ATS in his second stint against UCLA [not to mention 1-3 on the road so far this year]. Butch cannot go against those numbers - why, that would be like swearing off nog - sacrilege! Butch takes UCLA to cover.
Arizona State (-14.5) at Washington
Tommy: Picking a Washington school to cover is an act of foolishness. Erickson Really Turned ASU Around-33, Bye Bye Ty-10.
Butch: Willie is 0-3 SU/ATS against the Sun Devilinas and if the Devilinas cannot break their six-game losing skid here then they better bolt down the liquor stores in Tempe. Butch takes the Sun Devilinas to win and cover.
California at USC (-18)
Tommy: After struggling against the Bears for the early part, USC has covered the spread in three straight contests. Tommy doesn't think this one will be any different because it's likely that Nate Longshore will be quarterback. That's bad news for Cal, because the Trojans have owned Longshore. This season, there will be no rainstorm to make running the ball easier, and Longshore will cough it up a few times, as usual. Good Guys-31, Get Down From Those Trees!-10.
Butch: It is No-Loss November for your boy Pete Carroll and Butch just does not see any way, shape or form that the Fighting Tedfords are going to deal with the defense. Butch takes Tommy's boys of Troy to win and cover.
Oklahoma State at Texas Tech (-3)
Tommy: Are you ready for some letdown?! Tommy picked the big upset last week, and he's doing it against this week for a Cowboy team that has a better defense than the Red Raiders. Orange Guys-38, The Dream Is Over-35.
Butch: Butch was thinking he was closer since he picked a Texas tie last week but, whatever. What do we have here - two red states going at it? Butch takes Obama to win and cover.
TCU at Utah (-2.5)
Tommy: Are you ready for another road upset?! The Froggies blistered BYU earlier this year, and the Utes have struggled with the quality teams in the MWC. No BCS for you! Rooting Against Boise-24, Da Two Utes-17.
Butch: Horny Frogs or a bad case of the Utes - which would you rather have, Tommy? Tough call, but Butch is going with the nympho amphibians.
Penn State (-7.5) at Iowa
Tommy: Some are callin' this a trap game, but ol' Tommy ain't buyin'. The Hawkeyes have lost to Pitt, Northwestern, MSU, and Illinois, and they're going to beat the undefeated Nits who just won in Columbus? Ah, no. Won't be close. Bearing Down On Miami-27, Will Be Lucky To Be Bowl Eligible-10.
Butch: Some!? Who are they, Tommy!? Butch will protect your honor and send Old Man Paterno's hit squad out to teach 'em a lesson with a little something they like to call 'Ol Geri Intolerable ["Hey, who ate all the bran curds! I just bought 'em yesterday fer cryin' out loud!"]. Butch takes Old Man Paterno to fall asleep watching this game.
Last Week: 2-2
Last Week: 3-1
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