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September 12, 2008
Butch v. Tommy - Week Three
Everybody is happy this week. Tommy is happy because he managed to stay above .500 [the "Tommy Line"] for two consecutive weeks - the first time that has happened since they were handing out fez hats down at the Trojan Glad Handing Club to celebrate whoever's idea it was to get the NCAA so frightened of big, bad USC that they won't ever be put on probation in football for Reggie Bush or any other case of misinformation/misunderstanding/whatever - and that enabled him to stay few notches ahead of Butch. Butch is happy because he got above the "Tommy Line" for the first time this year and he achieved it in entertaining fashion with the BYU-Washington affair. Now it gets rambunctious - 10 non-conference games this week - and the peanut butter is flying around the room while Butch and Tommy wait to see where it sticks [hopefully not to the roof of our mouths].
Tommy: Don't look now, but you'd better get Tommy some butter 'cause he's on a roll. Butch earned a stalemate thanks to an inspired effort by his favorite team, who is likely still crying about the refs. If Locker threw the ball as well during live play as he did after touchdowns, the Pooches would be in business. But enough about insignificant games...Tommy smells something.
Butch: See what we said? Why Tommy, you are positively giddy with your triumph over mediocrity. Butter..roll. Now that is a classic bit of fooforaw and Butch can always appreciate good fooforaw.
Wazzu (-2) at Baylor
Tommy: LAST. Get used to that word, Coug fans. How bad are the Bears that the Cougs are favored? Trust me, not bad enough for Paul Wulff. Bad Bears But Not Bad Enough-28, Worse Than The Huskies?-24.
Butch: It cannot get any worse than last week for the Cougars, can it? Well, it can, but not this week. Butch takes the Bears to win and cover.
California (-14.5) at Maryland
Tommy: This game is scary for old Tom. The Terps are garbage, as any team that loses to Middle Tennessee State is. But they aren't defensively challenged as Butch's boys are, and the Ursa Minors have had a real problem in the road out of conference. The Skirted One will grit his teeth, hold his nose, and take the Hippies. They Smell Worse Than Buckeye Fans-34, Is It Basketball Season Yet?-14.
Butch: No nose pinching necessary, Tommy, because the Cougars gave the Fighting Tedfords all the confidence they needed plus some extra bonus confidence they took for the rest of the month by airing it when the game was already decided and some for the future when they take on your boys [see if Best's 200 yards comes up that week, Tommy]. Butch takes the Tedfords to win and cover over the Crab Cakes.
Oregon (-7) at Purdue
Tommy: Two straight blowout wins and home, and the Ducks are flying high. This shouldn't be a problem. After all, the Fowls went to the Big House last year and doled out a whoopin'. HMMMM. Tommy doesn't trust Knight's boys without Dennis Dixon just yet, and Curtis Painter can chuck the ball around a little. Quackers win, Boilers cover. Beanpole For A QB-38, We Love Kyle Orton, The Greatest QB In Bears' History-35.
Butch: Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. Did you miss the memo that the Nikes were 5-0 ATS in their last five road openers? Perhaps you were busy putting lard on the cat's boil? This game is all but over right now. Butch takes the Nikes to win and cover.
UCLA at BYU (-9)
Tommy: Sorry, Tommy ain't buyin' this one at all. These two teams played twice last season, and the Bruins might be better. They certainly have better coaching. The Bruins won in Pasadena by 10, and lost in Vegas by the skin of their teeth with a walk-on at QB. Now the Cougs are going to beat them by double digits after needing a blocked PAT to beat the sorry Huskies just because the game is in Provo? Uh, no. As a matter of fact, as an act of charity to those clowns across town, I'll even predict the upset. Good Vibrations Thanks To The Weasel-20, Seventeen At The Rose Bowl, Seventeen In Vegas-17.
Butch: Reverse karma - nice try, Tommy. Unfortunately, just like the Trees discovered, the euphoria only lasts one week, then it is back to reality. Butch takes the Mormons to win, cover and celebrate with their 17 wives.
Hawai'i at Oregon State (-13)
Tommy: Home sweet home couldn't come fast enough for the Beavs after getting their butts kicked up and down the field in two road games first third of the season. Really, you can set your clocks to it. On the other hand, you can also wind the watch to the fact that the Beavs will whip some tail at home against non-conference opponents, and the June Jones-less Boys had to come from behind to beat...Weber State. Corvallis faithful, it's time to get healthy. They Might Win Eight Games Anyway-42, The Glory Days Are Gone-17.
Butch: Again, like last week, you have complete agreement from Butch on this one, Tommy. While the Rodents are 0-6 straight up and 1-5 ATS in their road openers the last six years, they are like Rip Van Winkle waking up under a tree in Corvallis - "Zzzz [snort] what? Time to play football now?" Butch takes the Rodents to win and cover.
Oklahoma (-20) at Washington
Tommy: This is a toughie. Ohio State didn't win by 20 last year in Seattle. Boise got whipped in Seattle, and BYU couldn't cover a measly seven. Shoot, the Doggies kept the Trojans within a field goal last season. Add that the Boomers were 2-5 against the spread away from home last season, and there is cause for concern. But Tommy can't pull the trigger for UW. Might pick against them every week. Real Program-44, Is Gary Pinkel Still Available-14.
Butch: Ohio State did not win by 20 last year in Seattle - but they still did what was important - they covered the spread just like the Spooners will do this year. Butch takes Oklahoma to win and cover.
Stanford at TCU (-13)
Tommy: Too many points. The Horned Frogs had to eke one out last year against Harbaugh. Sammy Baugh's boys will make things ugly for the Cardinal offense, but the gimmicky Trees' D will keep things close enough for Stanford to cover by a twig. Patterson Makes Stoops Look Easy Going-24, Elitists-14.
Butch: The Trees did not like the fact that they let the Horny Frogs come on to the Farm and beat them up last year - plus they are irate that their brethren are being chopped down in Berkeley - so they plan on taking it out on the Frogs this year. Butch takes the Trees to win and cover.
Arizona (-10) at New Mexico
Tommy: Tommy's riding the hot hand, at least until the Cats play someone. Los Lobos even made Texas A&M look like a decent team, and that's saying a lot. One more Tuitama tune-up before the real season starts...and Mike Stoops makes his way toward a pink slip. Vein Popping Anger-39, La Bamba Cover Band-19.
Butch: Yep - Idaho, Toledo, New Mexico - who, besides the Arizona fans, have been fooled by this murderer's row line-up so far in 2008? Good thing there are 72 bowls now, eh? Butch takes Stoops' stooges to win and only pile on by 50 to cover.
Ohio State at USC (-10.5)
Tommy: Ah, yes, it's the smell of the state of Ohio coming to town. Fortunately for the Bucks, they left the Bobcats at home after the debacle in Columbus on Saturday. The unfortunate part is that Todd Boeckman is their QB. Tommy thinks they would be better off with Todd Flanders. Time for THE OSU to get their annual butt kicking at the hands of a real team. Good Guys-31, Pretenders-6.
Butch: "The Ohio State" - oh yes, Butch forgot about that. Are they part of "The Big 11"? Butch has never been impressed with the Buckeyeballs and takes Tommy's boys of Troy to win and cover.
UNLV at Arizona State (-22.5)
Tommy: Dennis Erickson against Mike Sanford. Need we say more? Looking Forward To Georgia Killing Us-49, What Are The Odds Sanford Gets Fired-16.
Butch: Maybe UNLV can distract Erickson with an NFL contract delivered by an Elvis impersonator? Naw, he's too smart for that. Butch takes the Sun Devilinas to win and cover.
Last Week: 4-2
Last Week: 4-2
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