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November 23, 2006
Butch v. Tommy - Week 13
Tommy took advantage of a ghastly mistake by Butch which allowed him to close within a hangnail of Butch and Butch made it look even worse by barely fending off the Tommy 0-fer disease. Neither Butch nor Tommy have had a pleasant holiday season so far and last week was no different as they both served up some more holiday fruitcake with a 2-3 mark for Tommy and a 1-4 record for Butch. Tommy's numbers were right about where he has been for much of the year but Butch's numerals were uncharacteristically low and the culprit was a mistaken selection of Oregon over Arizona when Butch meant to take Arizona. But no crying over spilt nog now, Butch has to take it like a large feline and move on. Unfortunately, Butch's mistake has plunged him down into Tommy territory under the equator and that is just no place for Butch to be - time to change that this week. This week's lollygagging lots of L-tryptophan
Tommy: Mercifully, the season is almost over for Tommy and Butch. Maybe the bowls will bring something better for us masters of the gridiron (sarcasm). The Pac-10 has flat out kicked our butts this year. Then again, who would have thought that Arizona would come back from the dead? That the wheels would fall off in Eugene? That the Beavs would be on track to finish third?! That Cal would choke in a big game? Tommy just made a funny! On to the games.
Butch: It is imperative that imps come to work on time with knockers to get good grades of oh great, now Butch is babbling incoherently again no different than last week.
Oregon at Oregon State (-3)
Tommy: Let's see. The Ducks have scored 20 points in their last two games. They have given up 72. The home team is 8-2 against the spread in the last 10. Gee, who should Tommy pick? Yes, We Are Going To El Paso-35, Yes, We Are Going 7-5 With 13 Returning Starters-17.
Butch: What does money buy? Love? Nope. Happiness? Nope. Wins? Are you kidding? Snazzy new uni's for the team, band and mascot? Ding! Ding! Ding! Butch takes the Beavers to win and cover.
Arizona State at Arizona (-4)
Tommy: Let's see. The Wildcats have won three in a row, beating WSU, Cal and Oregon, two of those on the road. They have played outstanding defense. ASU, on the other hand, suck. Welcome to bowl eligibility, Wildcats. 7-5, Here We Come-27, Say Goodbye To Dirk The Jerk-10.
Butch: Talk about two teams going in different direction. ASU was lucky to win last year when Arizona was down. This year, ASU will be going down so far, Koetter will be asking directions to this Sisyphus Spa he's heard so much about.
Notre Dame at USC (-7)
Tommy: Let's see. The Fighting Irish have played exactly four teams who can actually defend, and averaged 73 rushing yards per game against them. Add the fact that the Irish have played only one Top 25 passing offense, yet are 81st in the nation in pass efficiency defense. Let the beatdown begin! Five In A Row-30, Wake Me When They Beat Someone-13.
Butch: Beginning of story, Chapter One - Pete Carroll wins games as head coach at USC. Chapter Two - He is undefeated in November so far in six years. Chapter Three - That is all you need to know. End of story. [Moral of story - try not to schedule the boys of Troy in November]. Butch takes Tommy's boys of Troy to win and cover.
Tommy's Non-Conference Noogies
LSU at Arkansas (PK)
Tommy: Let's see. The Tigers have choked in almost every big game that they've played this year, and nearly lost to Ole Miss. Arkansas is chasing a shot at a national title. Since Tommy thinks that Les Miles is a mediocre coach, he'll go with the Hogs. We Want The Gators-20, Can We Play Miami In A Bowl Game Again?-13.
Butch: PK means something what is it?...Butch keeps forgetting what it is. Paddling Kahunas? Peppy Keggers? Phat Khaki's? Maybe it has something to do with the LSU Hamilton Tiger Cats who Butch takes to win and cover.
Texas A&M at Texas (-13)
Tommy: Let's see. Colt McCoy will probably be back, but Tommy's got an odd feeling about this game. The Horns are 1-3 in their last four against the spread, and the Ags gave them a run last year. Tommy will take the Horns to win, but a close one. Back To The Pack-35, Still Searching For A Big Win-28.
Butch: A&M has the ampersand. Can't go against the ampersand or else the terrorists win. Butch takes the Ampersands to cover.
Boise State (-2.5) at Nevada
Tommy: A Let's see. Boise only needs one win to make a BCS game, and they're playing a three loss Nevada team that dropped one to sorry Fresno State. No problem, right? Wrong. Boise is 1-4 on the road against the spread, and barely held on to beat San Jose State on the road. This weekend, the wheels fall off for the Broncos, and it will be MPC Computer Bowl time. Yay! We Stormed The Field When We Beat Northwestern-28, No BCS For Us-24.
Butch: Is ESPN2 televising the game this time? Because if they are not, we may get to see the pit crew competition from the lucrative National Lawn Mower Racing Championships or some similar scintillating fare on their usual schedule. Butch takes the Big Bad Wolf to cover.
Last Week: 2-3
Noogies Overall: 17-18-1
Last Week: 1-4
Noogies Overall: 14-20.5-1*
* Butch picked Notre Dame and Michigan to lose to each other in Week Four - so the professor says he gets half credit.
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