We could bombard you with statistics that would unequivocally determine that 4-1 and No. 12-ranked Notre Dame vs. 0-5 Stanford is a totally one-sided affair that should be over shortly after the kickoff in Notre Dame Stadium.

But we don't want to bore you with those numbers…Oh, what the heck. Stanford's statistics are so bad that you have to at least mention a few of them, for entertainment value alone.

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